Getting up and going

Dad didn't mean to get me a lame gift. Just what they sent was not what was represented in the catalog.

The klonopin is helping me out tremendously. I feel like my old self again, pre schizophrenia. It' weird.

It's why I haven't been writing much, I've been busy cleaning up my apartment and talking to some friends online. Everyone is saying how I'm back to my old self again, it is pretty cool.

I will tell you more of my past. What should I tell you. I don't want to tell you about the women yet. Maybe I will tell you about the leg.

When I was in first grade I was tipping back in my chair and falling out of it to make this one kid, Patrick, laugh. I kept doing it over and over, until I fell 0n my left leg and started crying. It hurt. Bad. I couldn't get up. They called my father and brought a wheelchair. I couldn't get off the floor, it was right by my hip that it hurt, this is a weight bearing area. My dad picked me up and carried me to the ambulance.

I was in the hospital for several months and finished out school there. My leg was in tracton, which means it was kept elevated by a metal pole through my knee. The doctors said I had a weak spot on my femur that was bound to break at some point.

When I got out of traction they put me in a half body cast and sent me home. I was a hyperactive kid, so I developed this duck waddle way of walking with this half body cast on. No wheel chair for me.

The body cast kept my legs spread at a 45 degree angle, and there was a steel bar between the legs above my knees for strength. The cast went all the way down my left leg, and down to the knee of my right. So I could bend my right knee and swing my left leg over. I walked like this for several months.

After awhile they cut the cast off. Doctor tells me "Okay now you won't be able to stand for a few weeks, and you shouldn't walk for awhile." I told him I'd already been walking in the cast. "Oh, if I had known that, I would have put rubber bottoms on it." or something like this.

Anyway we get home and my dad's like "Do you think you can stand on it?" I said yeah, probably. I stood on it. Fine. I started walking. Fine. We walked home.

What the doctors failed to realize was that I had monostotic fibrous displaysia, a tumor growing in my femur that made the bone very brittle and easily breakable. It's usually caught in that exact scenario, a kid breaks a bone from the tumor, they spot the tumor and remove it. This doctor didn't remove the tumor. It would grow back. It wouldn't be discovered until I was 18. It is the reason that I am schizophrenic.

I will tell you more later.