School is starting Monday. I am excited.
Let me explain to you a bit of what it is like to be schizophrenic.
Imagine having a near death experience. Maybe you have had one. Imagine the thoughts going through your head, the fear, the everything.
This is what it is like for me on schizophrenia. Inconsequential things become indicators of my demise. My heart is beating. I feel like I am right on the edge. Throw in some mystical crap, some mental everyone is connected and knows what is going on in your life and they are just players and there you have it. It is fucking scary. It is scary to live like this daily.
Ahh well. It is the lot for my life.
I will tell you more later, I wanted to make this quick.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Masterful Domains
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1 comments:
Thank you for the reminder about how it feels to have near death experience. I needed to be reminded of that. My son has schizoaffective disorder, and I sometimes forget he does not mean to be a pain, and that it is futile for me to try to talk him out of it. The fear is real even if the source of fear is an illusion. I hope someday he is self-aware of his illness like you are.
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