Tonight, tonite

I'm having an off day today. The little blue pills are kicking back up, so I'm a little off-center.

It is alright.

I was posting random things on my friend's facebook, like phrases that were as if we were having a conversation, but we weren't. I was finding it really funny because people would be like "Man, what are those guys talking about?"

Then I got to thinking, oh well they will probably find out that he is not saying anything. And then what I thought to be creative and funny will just turn out to be just weird.

Story of my life.

I see a psychologist, I don't know if I've mentioned that. She's a CBT. Psychology is not indicated for schizophrenia, but I do very well, so it's good.

We're finally getting to some deep stuff which is cool. She does adlerian too.

I wrote something on my whiteboard to remind myself to ask her this question so I can further heal and things.

It being : "My basic motivations behind my interactions."

I honestly don't know what they are. I don't know what motivates me when I interact with people.

We have determined though, through many sessions, that due to the pain of my leg, and the way I grew up, I have become deeply, deeply disconnected. I am very far removed from my reality.

It hurts, coming back. I've been deep for years.